is this the point of no return? am I there yet or soon to arrive?

the damaged heart; how many times until it finally gives way, and flesh falls away revealing the skeletal structure and from there it is fire and cinder, vapor and a few bone fragments, Aftwards, no heaven, no hell, no purgatory, nowhere erewhon, bla

ck before my eyes, but eyes can not see they are no more. shades wandering aimlessly unable to talk but only an occasional squeak. What a view of mortality. Now only, this instant, gone, irretrievable and the  beads of life sparkle and then the next bead, dimmer yet until finally darkness, no motion, no swirling and wandering , no walking sound, sight, taste, smell, touch no longer exist for that little scintillating little glint and then a mere particle that sinks to the ground or rises in a droplet forever passing through the cycle of nature, earth's nature until the universe explodes and then there is no more perhaps never again or possibling reconfigured. a particle, so small it cannot be seen but it has ways on its unscripted path